There were a lot of reasons why it didn’t work out, but the most important one had to be the murders.
“Porridge!” she shouted wildly, she too having forgotten the safe word.
“What big teeth you have, Grandma!” said Little Red Riding Hood, hungrily feeling her toothless jaws, craving what she could not have.
Love is a fickle mistress, like having a secret wife.
Violence is never the answer, except in self-defense. Or if the guy stole something from you. Or if he looks at you funny because he’s probably hitting on you, and that’s not cool. That’s gay.
“She and I, we were ready for second base. They said our relationship was impossible, eccentric, yearning to break free the very fabric of what is moral and immoral; and, as we felt our bodies become one, we knew they were so so wrong especially after we started using the second base canvas bag as a spanking machine,” Jeff read aloud to his drivers’ ed class.
For Jeff, the dictionary seemed to hold all the wonder and mystery of the world. For the dictionary, it wished Jeff would at least browse with pants on.
The young man, with the confidence of a horny gazelle, strutted down the street in his flamingo pink suit, his posse of women dutifully trailing behind him, waiting for the promised ice-cream cone that would never come.
“SINCE TIME IMMEMORIAL,” Jeff shouted behind his chainmail, “MANKIND HAS LICKED THE CHEEKS OF DEATH,” thus beginning the worst relationship break-up in recorded history.
Man is constantly at odds with Nature, especially after Nature was caught in bed with Time and Space doing unspeakably dirty things to Reality.
