“Porridge!” she shouted wildly, she too having forgotten the safe word.
“What big teeth you have, Grandma!” said Little Red Riding Hood, hungrily feeling her toothless jaws, craving what she could not have.
Love is a fickle mistress, like having a secret wife.
Violence is never the answer, except in self-defense. Or if the guy stole something from you. Or if he looks at you funny because he’s probably hitting on you, and that’s not cool. That’s gay.
“She and I, we were ready for second base. They said our relationship was impossible, eccentric, yearning to break free the very fabric of what is moral and immoral; and, as we felt our bodies become one, we knew they were so so wrong especially after we started using the second base canvas bag as a spanking machine,” Jeff read aloud to his drivers’ ed class.
For Jeff, the dictionary seemed to hold all the wonder and mystery of the world. For the dictionary, it wished Jeff would at least browse with pants on.
Posted August 8, 2009 at 10:53am in relationships
The young man, with the confidence of a horny gazelle, strutted down the street in his flamingo pink suit, his posse of women dutifully trailing behind him, waiting for the promised ice-cream cone that would never come.
“SINCE TIME IMMEMORIAL,” Jeff shouted behind his chainmail, “MANKIND HAS LICKED THE CHEEKS OF DEATH,” thus beginning the worst relationship break-up in recorded history.
Man is constantly at odds with Nature, especially after Nature was caught in bed with Time and Space doing unspeakably dirty things to Reality.
Posted July 5, 2009 at 5:35am in relationships
Looking into his eyes, she felt as though every nerve of her body was firing in all directions as her heart beat faster and her brain massively hemorrhaged.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Vomit, and the world takes a few steps back.
As the night progressed, Maria thought Jeff was becoming more and more distant, especially after he started running.
Posted May 30, 2009 at 12:36am in relationships
