“What big teeth you have, Grandma!” said Little Red Riding Hood, hungrily feeling her toothless jaws, craving what she could not have.
The hieroglyphs seemed to shimmer in the night light, quivering, as if waiting for a preternatural force to infuse them with light, as if a fat enthusiastic man was holding it and jumping up and down.
As the haughty and cynical 60-year old fashion editor stared through her limousine window at what even she could not doubt was true love, her heart melted, killing her instantly.
“You drive me crazy, Jeff,” she whispered into his ear. “How did you know,” he whispered back, “that I flushed your psychiatric medication?”
The “Her heart was as black as stone, but at least she’s alone.” greeting card was not received well by the Fungal Heart Infection ward.
Posted April 1, 2009 at 11:09pm in health
They said the tomatoes were infested with salmonella, sure, but why are salmon fucking our tomatoes?
Jeff had turned a new leaf, so he laughed, pulled a pencil out of his beard, and chalked another tally line in his cardboard mansion.
